"I consider myself a relatively moral guy"
20070428
Bill Clinton (1974)
"If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people he should resign."
Bill Clinton (Both Quotes)
"You can't say you love your country and hate your government."
"A lot of wonderful people love their country and hate the military."
Alicia Silverstone (Actress)
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
20070408
David Dinkins (Former New York City Mayor)
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
Marion Berry (Former Mayor of Washington DC)
"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
Barbara Boxer
Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
Gerry Brown
"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
20070331
Sean Penn
"The money that's spent on this war would be better spent on building levees in New Orleans and health care in Africa and care for our veterans. Iraq is not our toilet. It's a country of human beings whose lives that were once oppressed by Saddam are now in Dante's Inferno."
Rosie O'Donnell
"But interesting with the British sailors, there were 15 British sailors and Marines who apparently went into Iranian waters and they were seized by the Iranians. And I have one thing to say: Gulf of Tonkin, Google it. Okay."
Frank Albrecht (Animal Rights Activist Who Wants to Kill Orphaned Polar Bear Instead of Letting be Raised by Humans)
"Hand-feeding is not appropriate for the species and is a grave violation of the animal protection laws"...."Legally speaking, the zoo should kill the baby bear. Otherwise it is condemning the bear to a dysfunctional life and that too is a breach of the law."
Jimmy Carter
"There will be no peace until Israel agrees to withdraw from all occupied Palestinian territory."
20070325
Ray Nagin (New Orleans)
"It's time for us to come together. It's time for us to rebuild New Orleans — the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans. This city will be a majority African American city. It's the way God wants it to be. You can't have New Orleans no other way. It wouldn't be New Orleans"........"This city will be chocolate at the end of the day."
United for Peace and Justice (Yawnnnnn...)
"The Political Cooperative will put a new, temporary government in place that is comprised of people from Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and all the organizations that have finally made us aware of the truth of the savage practices and illegal policies of our government in assassinating our own officials as well as people throughout the world who oppose their criminal activity."
Noam Chomsky (Under His Way of Thinking, Jews who Defended Themselves During the Holocaust Were Terrorists)
"I have been writing about terrorism for 25 years always using the official U.S. definition, but that definition is un-usable, and the reason is that when you use that definition it turns out, not surprisingly,that the U.S is one of the leading terrorist states, and the other states become terrorist or non-terrorist depending on how they are relating to U.S. goals."
Steven Erlanger (New York Times)
"The asymmetry in the reported death tolls is marked and growing: some 230 Lebanese dead, most of them civilians, to 25 Israeli dead, 13 of them civilians. In Gaza, one Israel soldier has died from his own army's fire, and 103 Palestinians have been killed, 70 percent of them militants. The cold figures, combined with Israeli air attacks on civilian infrastructure...have led to accusations by France and the European Union...that Israel is guilty of 'disproportionate use of force'..."
20070317
Hillary Clinton (Talking About OTHER People)
"They are the most disgusting group of political thugs that I have ever seen."
Frank Rizzo (Former Philadelphia Police Chief)
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia -- it's only the people who make them unsafe."
Al Gore (People Less Important Than Trees? Maybe He Really is Made of Wood)
"The Pacific Yew can be cut down and processed to produce a potent chemical, taxol, which offers some promise of curing certain forms of lung, breast, and ovarian cancer in patients who would otherwise quickly die. It seems an easy choice -- sacrifice the tree for a human life -- until one learns that three trees must be destroyed for each patient treated, that only specimens more than a hundred years old contain the potent chemical in their bark, and that there are very few of these yews remaining on earth."
John Bowman (Washington DC Councilman)
"If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be."
20070310
Hillary Clinton
"I mean, you've got a conservative and right-wing press presence with really nothing on the other end of the political spectrum."
Hillary Clinton (Perhaps the Funniest Thing Ever Said)
"Why do I have to keep proving to people that I am not a liar?"
Hillary Clinton
"I have to admit that a good deal of what my husband and I have learned [about Islam] has come from our daughter."
Hillary Clinton
"It's been said, and I think it's accurate, that my husband was obsessed by terrorism in general and al-Qaida in particular."
Ajai Raj (Liberal Having a Hissy-Fit Against Ann Coulter)
"So, what do you think about conservative men that all they do with their wives is fuck them in the ass?"
Nicholas J. Von Pless
"What scholarly contribution does ROTC offer on a campus, when it is primarily about fighting tactics and stifles free speech?"
Anonymous Student, Syarif Hidayatullah State Islamic University (Jakarta, Indonesia)
"Who's the terrorists?"
Al Franken
Making jokes about Terri Schiavo is one of the hardest things I've had to do as a humorist.
20070303
Eleanor Clift (The McLaughlin Group)
"[Russia’s Vladimir Putin is] the only one of those leaders who goes in there [the G8 summit] with a commanding popularity among his own people, because he is perceived to be an effective dictator. What we have in this country is a dictator who’s ineffective."
Eleanor Clift (Newsweek)
"There’s nothing this administration won’t do under the guise of battling terrorism....The only way the American people can stop Bush’s imperial expansion of power short is to turn out in massive numbers to take back one or the other body of Congress from Republican control."
Jack Cafferty (Another Uninspiring CNN News Vomiter)
"The last time we got a tape from Osama bin Laden was right before the 2004 presidential election. Now here we are, four days away from hearings starting in Washington into the wiretapping of America’s telephones without bothering to get a court order or a warrant, and up pops another tape from Osama bin Laden. Coincidence? Who knows."
Katie Couric
"Gas is the lowest it’s been all year, a nationwide average of $2.23 a gallon. It hasn’t been that low since last Christmas. But is this an election-year present from President Bush to fellow Republicans?"
20070217
Bob Schieffer, CBS News
"I’m Bob Schieffer. It just keeps getting worse in Iraq. The death toll is rising. Tension is growing between Shiites and Sunnis. Is the country sliding toward civil war?"
Jonathan Alter, Newsweek,
"I don’t have a clue as to whether [former House Majority Leader Tom] DeLay violated the law or not, this very old Texas statute that he’s been indicted on, but I do know it’s the first time in 200 years that the House of Representatives has been run for a whole decade, or almost a decade, by a corrupt zealot."
Ty Burr, Boston Globe Movie Critic
"Stealth is a pretty fair military-hardware action movie until you start thinking about it — at which point it turns incredibly sour in your mouth. I can therefore recommend it to any and all audiences lacking higher brain functions. Sea cucumbers, perhaps. Ones waving American flags.... This is exactly the sort of movie we don’t need right now: a delusional military fantasy in which collateral damage doesn’t exist....For a movie to pretend, in the face of the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqi men, women, and children directly or indirectly caused by our presence there, that we can wage war without anyone really getting hurt isn’t naive, or wishful thinking, or a jim-dandy way to spend a Saturday night at the movies. It’s an obscenity."
Nina Totenberg, NPR
"I just want to say: Who are we? We are people who have always been for inspections of prisons, for some degree of human rights, and now we’re defending neither.... We have now violated everything that we stand for. It is the first time in my life I have been ashamed of my country."
20070204
Marion Berry (Former Mayor of Washington DC)
"Outside of the killings, [Washington] has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Bill Maher (Typical Grade-C Celebrity-Liberal)
"When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion."
Peter Singer (Princeton 'Professor')
"I do think that it is sometimes appropriate to kill a human infant. For me, the relevant question is, what makes it so seriously wrong to take a life? Those of you who are not vegetarians are responsible for taking a life every time you eat. Species is no more relevant than race in making these judgments."
20070127
Mark Kurlansky (Another Self-Proclaimed Liberal Intellectual)
"I am sick and tired of the Founding Fathers and all their intents. The real American question of our times is how our country in a little over 200 years sank from the great hope to the most backward democracy in the West. The U.S. offers the worst healthcare program, one of the worst public school systems and the worst benefits for workers... We ought to do something. Instead, we keep worrying about the vision of a bunch of sexist, slave-owning 18th century white men in wigs and breeches."
Jimmy Carter
"My whole book is written about Palestine and its lands, and about what is going on against the Palestinian people, which is in my view, very similar, and in some cases worse than what happened to the Blacks in South Africa."
Danny Glover (If You're Going to make numbers up, why not 200 Million?)
"We all know Reagan's legacy, from the Iran-Contra affair to the funding of the Nicaraguan military in which over 200,000 people died. The groundwork for the move steadily to the right happened with the Reagan administration. People want to elevate him to some mythic level; they have their own reason for doing that."
Chevy Chase
"This guy in office is an uneducated, real lying schmuck ... and we still couldn't beat him with a bore like Kerry."
20070120
Woody Allen (Speaking About his Daughter/Wife)
"I don’t want to have to refer to my French-fried potatoes as freedom fries and I don’t want to have to freedom-kiss my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her."
Ben Affleck
"The Bush administration has continued to push a dangerous right-wing agenda which has included increasing encroachments on civil liberties, particularly with the questionable and aggressive use of the Patriot Act."
Linda Ronstadt (Former Singer and Current Food Expert)
"[Michael Moore] is someone who cares about this country deeply and is trying to help."
Linda Ronstadt (70's Pop Star)
"I worry that some people are entertained by the idea of this war. They don't know anything about the Iraqis, but they're angry and frustrated in their own lives. It's like Germany, before Hitler took over. The economy was bad and people felt kicked around. They looked for a scapegoat. Now we've got a new bunch of Hitlers."
Jennifer Anniston (Before Brad left her for someone closer to Jenna Bush's age)
"We'd pass her in the hall, and Brad would say, 'Heyyyy, Jenna, wanna beer? I got one in the truck!"
20070113
Moby (You go Girl!)
"Can someone remind me why secession is not an option at this point? I mean let's be realistic, we live in a divided country. Can't we have the breakaway republics of 'north-east-istan' and 'pacific-stan'? Wouldn't the red states be happier without us? We could still travel freely and trade freely with them, but can't we just leave? Then you could have 3 countries: northeastistan pacificstan redstateistan one other option would be for us to all join the Republican party en masse and make it socially liberal and fiscally conservative(as opposed to it's current 'socially puritanical/fiscally insane' status). Ok, it's done. John kerry has seceded. If you need us, my friends and I will be drunk for the next 4 years."
Jenna Elfman (Former TV Actress)
“I intend to make Scientology as accessible to as many people as I can. And that is my goal.”
Katie 'Last Place' Couric
"[Saddam Hussein] kept the Sunnis and the Shiites apart and from killing each other."
Rosie O'Donnell
"My son said, 'It's so embarrassing having you talk all the time on TV about being gay and you picking me up at school in painter's pants.' I told him, 'Yeah, yeah, keep it for your book.'"
Johnny Depp
"My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out."
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